She Made Me Cry So I Want To Kill Her - The Scars On My Wrist

Genre: Deathcore/Pure Shit
Year: 2008

WOW! This is... really bad. I can't fucking believe it. I don't even know how to review this! It's that horrible. You have to hear it for yourself to believe it.

She Made Me Cry So I Want To Kill Her are a deathcore band and they fucking suck more dicks than a hooker. They combine the weak shitty screamo screams with slam bree's and emo vocals. This is a demo with one song called "We Are Like Every Other Deathcore Band." It's starts off as Gothenburg worship metalcore then goes into deathcore overdrive. The riffs are pathetic and the vocals are embarassing to listen to. The drumming is horrible. The bass? They don't even have a bass player! Then it goes into a breakdown where the vocalist changed from his weak screaming to inhaled cricket vocals and then comes the emo chorus. The vocals are brutally gay. Everything about is shit. It goes back to the Deathcore sound and back to the Slam breakdown. The guitarist attempts to impress every body with his short "shredding" but he sounds like shit. Pure wank. As the emo chorus starts again, the "BREE" doesen't stopped and metalcore vocals can be heard at the same time with some of the emo vocals. It's like a giant hurricane of gayness. It doesen't get any worse than this...

Listen to the whole demo

No points.

Bullet For My Valentine - Scream Aim Fire

If you think I'm going to give this album a good review, you have not been paying attention for the past year.

Bullet for My Valentine are shitty metalcore garbage. They compared this album to Judas Priest's Painkiller. That is utter blasphemy! This piece of shit album is just another shitty screamo album. The singing is fucking disgraceful. Only reccomended for wimps and posers. Want a real metal album in 2008? Go get Hooded Menace's Fulfill the Curse.

No points. No redeeming qualities. Everything here sucks.

Exodus - Let There Be Blood

What the fuck? Exodus re-recorded Bonded by Blood, their best album. Bonded by Blood didn't need to be re-recorded. What was wrong with the original one? Nothing! On Let There Be Blood, they modernized everything and made into an overproduced pile of shit. The great Paul Baloff (R.I.P.) would roll in his grave if he heard this. NU vocalist Rob Dukes does a horrible job on the vocals. The magic of the first album is not present on Let There Be Blood. It's a soulless, overproduced version of Bonded by Blood with shitty vocals. They dedicated this re-recording to Paul. What an insult! Paul Baloff was the real Exodus. THIS is Exodunce...



The truth behind Let There Be Blood (NOTE: this track isn't the actual re-recording)

BONUS VIDEO:

EGO OF A SPINELESS FRAUD (parody of Children of a Worthless God from a more recent album)

EXODUNCE - EGO OF A SPINELESS FRAUD

Both videos brought to you by TALES FROM THE PIT.

Arsonists Get All the Girls - The Game Of Life

More Deathcore lameness from Century Mediocre! With a name like that, you already know they play shitcore for scene kids. Fuck Arsonists Get All the Girls! This band blows chicken dicks! Their bass player died by drinking himself to death. Too bad the rest of the members didn't follow his footsteps. R.I.P. (Rot in pieces) Patrick Mason, you stupid faggot. It always brings me pleasure to know that a scene tard dies. Sadly, the rest of the members of this shitty band are alive and sucking as much cock as possible.

The music? Well, it's just the same shitty metalcore that we've all heard a million times before. Just a bit more "experimental." No need to go into an in depth review. If you have any common sense, you would avoid this band for the band name alone. I'm so glad this metalcore/deathcore trend is dying. That's right! The trend is finally coming to an end! Much like Retro-thrash, another trend on it's way to the morgue. Soon bands like Trivium and The Devil Wears Prada will be long forgotten. With new bands like Hooded Menace, Godless Rising, Cardiac Arrest, and Bone Gnawer coming out, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. I predict by 2010, Metalcore/Deathcore will be gone!

Rating: giving this a 0 would be way too kind.

Underoath - Lost in the Sound of Separation

Genre: Christian Mallcore/Gay Porn Soundtrack/Screamo
Year: 2008

One of the worst bands to ever disgrace the music scene. They are probably the lamest excuse for Metal that you'll ever hear! Can you believe people dare to call them "Metal"? The screaming sounds like he's getting a cock shoved up his ass! LIKE ALL -CORE SCERAMING! The clean singing sounds emo! I cringe every time he goes into those extra-bitchy clean vocals. They are brutally gay. The musicianship? What musicianship? They sound like they are humping their instruments! What the fuck do people see in this garbage? Can you believe that people are stupid enough to call this shit "Metal"? This is lighter than the average "Metal"core band. I can't fucking wait for this "Metalcore" trend to die out! All metalcore bands are shitty and Underoath are no exception. Lost in the Sound of Separation is the background music for every gay orgy to ever take place! This album was made to be a queer porn soundtrack. If you like this crap, FUCK YOU!

UNDEROATH ARE NOT METAL! THEY ARE SCREAMO AND THEY FUCKING BLOW!

A 0 is much too high for this album.

I Wrestled a Bear Once - IWrestledABearOnce

Genre: Experimental Deathcore (Oh fuck...)
Year: 2008

As if Century Media didn't disgrace their legacy enough. A label that use to put out great albums for Asphyx and Unleashed, now reduced to a trendy label. They have been releasing mainly crap for a long time but this is the worst! I Wrestled A Bear Once. Yes people, I'm not making this up. Look it up. I Wrestled A Bear Once is a real band and sadly, they're serious. Anyone who has a band name like that is a retard. It's a mix of techno, deathcore, disco, and other crap! YES! I'm not kidding. It's stupid, pretentious, and just awful! It's hard to listen to. How can people take them seriously? Why is this bullshit so lame?! It's hard to ignore it too. As if the "mainstream metal scene" wasn't gay enough. This shit band comes around! This is painful to listen to. You will enjoy having your genitals bashed in by a spiked club then to listen to this band. I Wrestled A Bear Once is one of the worst bands you will ever hear. I can guarantee that.

LOWER THAN 0 IS MY RATING! FUCK THIS BAND!

Acid Witch - Witchtanic Hellucinations

Genre: Psychedelic Death/Doom Metal
Year: 2008

Witchtanic Hellucinations is the debut album released by the band, Acid Witch. This record is a bizarre acid trip of doom. A very unique album that combines Traditional Doom Metal, Death Metal, and Psychedelic music. On this album, the use of keyboards are used very well and are not overused. They sound very similar to old Horror movie soundtracks. The guitar playing is perfect. There are many catchy riffs and outstanding guitar solo's. Tony Iommi would be proud! The songs are very well composed too. I can't pick out a single flaw.

Witchtanic Hellucinations is one of the best albums you'll hear in 2008 and an instant classic. If you like bizarre Doom Metal, I highly reccomend that you buy this album from the Razorback Records website. Don't download it because "unauthorized copying of this material is prohibited, if caught you will face up to 13 years of sucking cold smelly pus crusted witch tits."

10+/10